Of Aloneness

One of my most precious childhood memories is singing with Mama - my grandma. A favourite of ours was a hymn entitled My Lord and I. It was one of the first ones she ever taught me.

I now have my theories for why she chose this one - maybe because she knew that though I couldn’t perceive it yet, the journey ahead would get incredibly lonely at times. And in that special way music speaks to the heart, this one would be a reminder that no matter how lonely it feels sometimes, I’m never actually alone.

Christ is right there for all of it. Never fazed. Never driven away. The truest Friend.

Today, about 20 years later, I felt a pang of loneliness, aloneness, not because there’s no one around me, or no one who cares - I’m grateful for the blessing of true friends. But alone in the sense that there are some experiences no one will ever truly understand, no matter how much explaining or describing I could do.

Guess what song lyrics came to mind?

And so it is the case with each of us that the Lord is right there with us, in the deepest parts of our being and feeling, understanding it all, feeling it all. You, and me and all the people we encountered or walked past today. He sees you. He is with you. An ever present, loving, and unflinchingly faithful friend.

My Lord and I - Leila B. Rowe

   I have a Friend so precious, So very dear to me, He loves me with such tender love, He loves so faithfully; I could not live apart from Him, I love to feel Him nigh, And so we dwell together, My Lord and I.

   Sometimes I'm faint and weary, He knows that I am weak, And as He bids me lean on Him, His help I gladly seek; He leads me in the paths of light, Beneath a sunny sky, And so we walk together, My Lord and I.

   I tell Him all my sorrows, I tell Him all my joys, I tell Him all that pleases me, I tell Him what annoys; He tells me what I ought to do, He tells me how to try, And so we talk together, My Lord and I.

   He knows that I am longing Some weary soul to win, And so He bids me go and speak The loving word for Him; He bids me tell His wondrous love, And why He came to die, And so we work together, My Lord and I.